Does this mean I can stay with my boyfriend as long as we don’t have sex anymore?
What follows is my answer.
Maybe I am coming at this wrong, but it seems to me the first question to ask yourself is:
“Am I saved? Do I believe God sent His Son to become human to suffer and die for my sins and do I accept that for myself?” (Acts 4:12) This is much more than simply believing something has occurred historically – it is trusting in it. If you trust in something, it will affect your life. This is what Paul and James both wrote about in Acts 26:20, and James 2:14-24 when they said we have to have evidence of our faith.
The next question to ask yourself is:
“Are we both committed to Christ?” 2 Corinthians 6:14 tell us that an unbeliever and a believer should not be yoked together. And if someone is not as committed or more to Christ as you are, then you need to take a look at any sort of relationship like that.
The next question is, how close to the “line” of sin do you want to walk? It seems to me you are asking the wrong the question. We should avoid sin. Would sleeping with him cause either of you to sin?
I think the answer is found in the principle we see in Matthew 5:28
28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
I think when our looking at someone turns from appreciating beauty to lust (the principle would say, regardless of gender), it is sin.
Romans 1:24 & 26 speak of sinful desires of the heart and shameful lusts – both of which, at a minimum, would tie back to Matthew 5:28.
This would also tie into taking every thought captive for Christ, as we are told to do in 2 Corinthians 10:5.
1 Corinthians 6:18 tells us to flee sexual immorality, which also ties back into what Christ said in Matthew 5:28.
Obviously all of us stumble and are not perfect (James 2:10, 3:2), but we should avoid causing others to sin (Romans 14:20; 1 Corinthians 10:32).
Would lust ever come up if you slept together, for either of you?
Would it cause either of you to stumble?
Would it cause you to WANT to sin (a mental sin)?
Would it cause you to sin physically?
Is still living together holding on to something that God would see as wrong? If God wants you to let something go, to stop something, would you?
[edit:this line is added to this post] This is repentance. If God wants us to change, would we? If not, then we are not really obeying God; we are not repenting.
God wants our everything. If we are holding part of ourselves back, he is unlikely to be able to look at us and say well done good and faithful servant (Matthew 25:21, 23; Luke 19:17). And if we are HIS, that is what we should want. We need to be faithful in the small things as well as in the large things – in every way in our lives, and this includes the relationships we enter into (or remain in).