Is Homosexual love the same as heterosexual love?

Someone stated that homosexual love is the same as heterosexual love, so I decided to address this issue.

God said homosexual sex is a sin. God also said men are to marry women to avoid immorality.

Love is not doing what one wants. Love is obeying God. God said to not sin, reject wickedness, and be holy.

John 14:15

If you love me, you will obey what I command.

Let’s see what sorts of things come from within ourselves:

Mark 7:20-23

20 He went on: “What comes out of a man is what makes him unclean. 21 For from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, 22 greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and make a man unclean.”

Now let’s see what God said about what to do about sin in our lives:

Mark 9:42-47

42 “And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck. 43 If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. 45 And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. 47 And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell…”

John 5:14

Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, “See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.”

Romans 12:9

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

2 Timothy 2:19

Nevertheless, God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and, “Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness.”

1 Peter 1:16

for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”

Revelation 21:8

“But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”

So you see, sin is something to avoid. Sin is something to cut out of our lives. Sin is something to stop. Sin is something we do not want to encourage in others. We are to be holy.

Love between a man and a woman is different than love between a man and a man. God made men differently than women, and not just physically. Our minds and feelings and desires and needs and bodies are distinctly different. God made woman from man with the intention that they be joined together. 

Genesis 2:21-25 

21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

This is how God defines love for us:

Romans 13:10

Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love is wanting what is best for the other person. Love is patient. Love is sacrificial.

Remember that love for God is obedience to Him. 

John 14:15

If you love me, you will obey what I command.

But people who are attracted to those of the same gender want not what is best for the other person, but to have their desire fulfilled. Otherwise, they would recognize what God has said and choose to not commit the sin. But not only do they want to commit the sin, they want to lead others into sin, and they approve of others who want the same (Romans 1:18-32). Yet if we love someone, we will not try to lead them into sin, let alone approve of sin. Same sex love is a warping of the love that God created, otherwise He would have said that man and woman or man and man are OK to marry. But He did not. He said that man is to marry woman to avoid immorality, because that immorality will lead us straight to hell. 

1 Corinthians 7:2

But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10

9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 

Sexually immoral means those who do sexual acts that are prohibited in the Old Testament – including sex outside of marriage, incest, bestiality and homosexual sex (Lev 18; Lev 20; Dt 22).

If someone insists on being immoral and teaching immorality, God will deal with that person, if He is not already, according to what they do.

Revelation 20:12-13

And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what he had done

Homosexuals put their own thoughts “God approves of homosexual sex”, or “God made me this way so it must be OK”, or “there is nothing wrong with homosexual sex” above the thoughts of God, thus they put themselves in the place of God.

Leviticus 18:22

Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.

Leviticus 20:13

If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

Romans 1:24-27

24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25 They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator – who is forever praised. Amen. 26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

Notice that God called same gender sex detestable, sinful, sexual impurity, degrading, shameful, unnatural, and indecent. Even simple sexual desire between people of the same gender is sinful. By pretending God has said it is OK, one ignores another example of sex God has said not to do in the Old Testament and repeated in the New Testament (as He did the ban on homosexual sex) – incest.

Leviticus 20:11

If a man sleeps with his father’s wife, he has dishonored his father. Both the man and the woman must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

Deuteronomy 22:30

A man is not to marry his father’s wife; he must not dishonor his father’s bed.

1 Cor 5:1

1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that does not occur even among pagans: A man has his father’s wife.

God is clear about incest being wrong – even if the woman is a step-mother. In the same way, God is clear that homosexual sex is wrong. So no, homosexual love, which is called shameful, is not the same as heterosexual love.

For those who want to say that homosexual love harms no one, see what God has to say on the matter of whether it is harming or not: Homosexual Sex is Sin Against Self and Partner.

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18 Responses

  1. I would have to say it, I disagree “people who are attracted to those of the same gender want not what is best for the other person, but to have their desire fulfilled.” Being in love means giving yourself over to the other person and being there when they give themselves to you. A shoulder to lean on, being the person that the other needs you to be. Homosexuals and heterosexuals have people in both camps that only want to fulfill their own desires that is not just a gay thing. Love certainly transcends race, color, creed, and gender (of course not religion because the bible and all other “holy books” that I can think of explicitly forbids relationships with partners of a separate religion)

  2. Hey there theforeverfallen,

    I agree that that is part of love. However, part of love is wanting what is best for the other person, as well. And this is where you and I disagree: part of love is wanting what God wants. You disagree that there is a god, which is what makes it possible for you to remove Him from the equation. However, God’s handiwork can be seen in the stars, in an ocean, in a river, in the wonder that is childbirth. Evidence for God exists everywhere, for those who want to seek Him.

    I agree that love transcends culture and religion and ethnic background. But for those of us who believe there is a god, we must seek what is best for the other person in the context of love – which is what God is. Thus, we must seek what it is that God wants, in order to be able to ascertain what is best for the other person. God said certain behavior is wrong, therefore attempting to do that behavior is not love.

    Now, as you said, this is not limited to people who prefer the same gender. Heterosexuals sometimes also have difficulty seeking God, and seeking what HE said is good. I don’t think selfishness is gender bound, nor preference bound. I’ve known some really neat men who were homosexual. I’ve known some pretty crummy ones too. But the exact same thing can be said for heterosexuals – good and bad. Of all the people I currently interact with, the most painful to deal with is an arrogant heterosexual who really has little idea of that of which he speaks. However, I have no idea of how he interacts with his wife, so maybe its just a work thing.

  3. What I was disagreeing with was the ideology that a man cannot “love” another man that anything between two men is lust or some other equally shallow feelings of attraction.

  4. Hmm… how to put this… love between two people of the same gender that goes beyond friendship is at best incomplete. God has defined love in part as not rejoicing in evil – not enjoying that which God has called sin – but rejoicing with the truth. So when two people of the same gender attempt to love each other as something more than friends, they are unable to do so in truth as the truth is that God has called it sin.

    This is not to say some of the things God has called sin are not pleasurable. They often are pleasurable. But because God has said to not sin, and we love Him, we will avoid those things.

  5. why can’t everyone just get along and marvel at the stars…………….. quit preaching and stop pointing fingers. live life as you intend to. love EVERYONE, hate NO ONE.

  6. God made those stars we marvel at. God also said that we have a choice – love HIM in the way HE said to love Him, or not. If we choose not then that has negative consequences. We are told by God to share His love with others, teaching what HE has taught. Do not confuse calling people to God’s standards with hating them. I hate no one. It IS love to let people know that God loves them but does not like certain behavior and that if they continue to do those behaviors God has said to not do they will suffer for it. You are free to believe God or not.

  7. DGSE it is out of love for everyone that we are always trying to help each other, ofcourse though many err in that they forget that they themself might be wrong.

    Homosexuality is quite plain and simple, it is a sin. No one who says they love the Lord can deny that.

    But that’s ok, we are all sinners, so we’re in the same boat struggling to over-come our sin. This is why constantly repenting is so important. Every day I committ adultry because so many beautiful women work/live around me. (if even you think lustfully about another woman you are committing adultry). So in my opinion, homosexuals need to be a bit more humble and prepared to repent. If stumble every now and then to temptation, then by all means they should repent.

    This is why Jesus Christ died, that we may have constant chances where we can be forgiven for our sins.

    I think that it is human nature to be ‘naughty’ and ‘mischievous’ but when caught out and disciplined they either hide their shame internally or to compensate externally and rejoice in their shame.

    God shattered Egypt, was it just? from whose point of view? I say yes, because God is Just. God destroyed Sodom and Gommorah, was it just? from whose point of view? I say yes, because God is Just.

    Someone once said to me “if God cannot accept homosexuality then he is no God at all”, I replied “God does not need to accept homosexuality to be God; but homosexuals unknowingly acknowledge God by being homosexuals.”

    In my opinion, we shouldn’t condemn homosexuals, who are we to condemn someone? we should just preach the gospel to them, forgive them, and the rest is up to them. Why stall your ministry on a few when every second thousands are born unsaved?

  8. Darren,

    That’s part of my point. Homosexual sex is no more and no less a sin than any other sin. We simply must repent and turn to God through faith in Christ.

  9. Exactly, but I am also open to understanding that they are still human beings, whom are capable of all the feelings and emotions humans are blessed to have.

    This is why I loathe to see christians condemn them, rather then be more sensative. If those christians who spend so much time condeming homosexuals, spent the same amount of time following the Lord, how much more would they grow? All we can do is introduce a homosexual to the Truth, after that who are we to interfere with God’s will?

  10. Darren,

    Yes, all of us sinners are humans, and all of us humans are sinners, as far as I know.

    I don’t like to see anyone condemned. But at the same time, we must not condone the sin. There is a difference between calling an act sin and condemning the person committing said act. Of course, not everyone can recognize the difference.

    Yes, we are to share the truth as God directs us, and then let God work in them and through the message He had us give.

  11. I am a man madly in love with another man. He is my best friend, he is a beautiful person, we make each other happy and we are both willing to sacrifice and compromise parts of ourselves for the other. What does the bible say about love? Love is faithful and kind and patient. I would give up my life for my man. Sex is the smallest issue in our relationship, just being near him makes me feel complete. God is not gendered and neither is soul. I am in love with his heart and soul and mind, not his penis. I believe he is a gift to me from god, and I marvel at how amazing love is. I see the love of god through him, just as god reveals his love through nature and the bible. Physical gender is not as important as the soul and the spirit.

    • First let me say I have been bisexual and my wife was a lesbian. So what I have to say is not intended to be thought of as fear or loathing or hate. I write what I write because it is what the Bible says, thus it is what God says.

      God would never send someone of the same gender to be in a relationship with you that is reserved for marriage. It would go against His character and make Him a liar. Physical gender IS important when speaking of a relationship that God has called marriage, which is the only relationship God allows sex. Marriage is reserved for a man and a woman.

      God has said men are not to lie with men as with a woman in the Old Testament (Lev 18:22; Lev 20:13;), and God called sex with people of the same gender sexual impurity, degrading, shameful, unnatural, indecent, and perversion, and something that ought not to be done (Romans 1:24-32).

      Christ spoke out against sexual immorality (Matthew 15:18-20). Sexual immorality refers to sex that God has said in the Old Testament is illicit. In fact, sexual immorality is a category of sin dealing with illicit sex. The word translated as sexual immorality is Porneia. This word means
      1. illicit sexual intercourse
      A. adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc.
      B. sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18
      C. sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; Mk. 10:11

      God has said to not associate with someone who calls himself a brother and is sexually immoral (1 Corinthians 5:9-11). God said to flee sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18; Hebrews 12:16). The sexually immoral will be judged (Hebrews 13:4). God has said the sexually immoral will not enter eternal life (1 Corinthians 6:9), but in fact will enter the second death, the lake of fire (Revelation 21:8).

      Therefore, although something might feel like love, it is not in fact the emotion that God has instilled in men and women who are married. It is a counterfeit. It does not matter how you feel about it. It does not matter how you justify it. God said if you do not change and turn to God, then you are not saved. If you claim you have repented and turned to God, then you need to live like it.

      for further reading, see
      https://wbmoore.wordpress.com/2008/08/03/romans-118-211-sin-and-righteousness/
      https://wbmoore.wordpress.com/2008/06/20/how-does-romans-teach-homosexuality-is-sin/
      https://wbmoore.wordpress.com/2009/01/03/how-does-homosexual-sex-come-against-the-second-commandment/

  12. I think the question implies a confusion between love and lust. We are supposed to love everyone, even our enemies, regardless of gender, race or creed. However, that doesn’t mean we’re supposed to sleep with them. The love a married couple feels for each other is blessed by God. God unites them in marriage and they become one. I believe that the homosexual agenda for same sex marriage is missing the point of marriage completely. You don’t just promise yourself to each other, you also promise God, and through him you are united. Marriage is a vow made before the highest authority, i.e. “God”. Considering the Bible states that homosexuality is an abomination before our Lord, I very much doubt he would bless same sex physical love. Even in a heterosexual marriage, if it is based purely on the physical, it is doomed to failure. You must love the soul of your partner, not just their body.

  13. Well if your version of love is the bond between a married man and women, you live in a very cloudy and shallow world. God bless you you poor, ignorant soul.

    • Oh sweet dear one,

      Don’t you realize it’s not OUR idea of love that matters? It is GOD who matters, not US. It is God who decides right and wrong, not us. It is God who determine the appropriateness of relationships, not us. You and I and everyone has our own preferences, but ultimately, it is GOD who sets the rules and GOD who will judge. Personally, I’ve been bi, and my wife’s been lesbian. We both now love God and each other and no one else. As a woman, she chose God, which in turn caused me to choose God. That has consequences. One of which was that she now loves a man, and I now love only her – our preferences have changed. It is not just about preference, or sex or anything else. It is about loving God. He caused us to love each other. That in turned caused us to grow to trust Him, and each other. The more we grow in trusting Him, the more we love Him and the more we grow in trusting and loving each other.

  14. Can homosexual love be anything but unnatural lust?

  15. I think homosexual love is a modified copy of what God created for a man and a woman to have together, a counterfeit. If a man loves a woman as more than a sister or friend, then that love will usually begin to have a sexual component to it. The same is true for the love of a woman for a man.

    When that happens between a man and a man or a woman and a woman, it fails to meet the requirements God has laid out for us. By wanting something God has said is sin, we show it is not true love, but a counterfeit of the love God created for men and women.

  16. That explains very well..thanks a lot wbmoore

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