Ostracizing homosexual family members – DONT!

There are people who believe the right thing to do if a child, or brother, or sister, comes out as homosexual is to ostracize them and not allow them around the rest of the family. I have to question this behavior. How is this showing the love of God to them?

I am a very protective father to my 4 kids ages 6-12. I love Jesus. All of my kids have made professions of faith in Christ’s saving work for us on the cross. But I also try to teach my children about God’s love. He loves us.

While we need to point out sin to people who are in the church, and we need to stand for righteousness in the church, we need to show love as well. If people who have made a profession of faith do not wish to repent, Paul said to put them out of the church until they do so. But what about those who agree and are unable to change? What about those who want to change but have no idea how? It may be they need the love of God to help them grow so they can make that surrender in their lives.

For those who have not made a profession of faith, we may be the only glimpse of God they get that they can recognize. We live in the world, but are not to be part of it. We can not remove ourselves from the world. I have to make decisions to ensure I am not adversely affected by sin. I also have to make decisions to help teach my children who God is, what He has done, what He wants for us and from us, and what He will do.

I have a foster daughter who is now an adult. She has also made a profession of faith. She came to live with us just as she became an adult. She lived with us a year and was asked to leave because she would not follow the rules. Then she came back to live with us as an adult trying to put her life back together. She again had rules to follow. We had to talk to our other kids about her behavior and words and we had to help her grow some self-control and restraint and work on her surrendering to God. She’s getting her life together. She’s not an angel, but she’s grown in ways she never would have had we not opened our hearts to her. I have no idea if her faith is real or not. I know she still lives a sinful life. However, I also know she DOES know the truth and does not doubt it. I THINK she is saved, but is living as a carnal Christian. Regardless, I pray God helps her grow to surrender to Him.

My wife and I have had many people live with us through out the years. Sometimes they loved God when they got here. Sometimes they did not know God at all when first arriving. Sometimes they left not knowing Him or not surrendering to Him. But we always show the love and righteousness of God to people – we model it for both the people who come and go and for the people who will stay a while (including our kids). There is a balance. We also explain the sins in age appropriate ways to the kids and what God says about it and how to avoid it and deal it and with people who commit those sins.

I speak with alcoholics, drug addicts, doctors, lawyers, contractors, homosexuals, etc. We are all sinners. I don’t condone MY sin, let alone theirs. Yet, there are times when I still succumb to temptations. Yet, they know my position on their various sins (and they are not all the same). But they also know I’m not perfect and don’t put myself out there as perfect, just as a twisted piece of wood God has whittled and shaped to be useful to Him. God uses my past to speak to other people’s pasts and presents. And I still speak the truth of God into their lives when the opportunity arises, without being off-putting or purposefully offensive. The Gospel is offensive enough for some people, they don’t need me to make it hard for them to hear and accept.

I’m not perfect. I sometimes jump the gun on letting people know my position on things, before I have earned the right to speak into their lives. But it still gives me the opportunity to share love and righteousness with them. If I stayed away from family members who are sinners, I’d never be with family – including my own children.

No, I will not ostracize any child (adult or otherwise) of mine from me who is a sinner, regardless of the sin. I might protect myself and/or other children. But I will do so through educating my kids as to the problems with the life of sin the other child has chosen, and not allowing others to parent or baby sit my children.


4 Responses

  1. excellent post! I will have to use it, if you don’t mind.

    • Thanks. Feel free. I find scripture tells us all sins are alike in God’s eyes (other than blasphemy of the Holy Spirit). This being the case, how can someone who claims to love God and be forgiven for their sins look at certain sins as worse than others? We must love people as Christ loves us.

  2. […] Read the rest here: Ostracizing homosexual family members – DONT! […]

  3. […] Read the rest here: Ostracizing homosexual family members – DONT! […]

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