Whom should I marry?

The question came up about whether there are ever any conditions where divorce is allowed, and if so, then can that person remarry? We will address divorce and remarriage in a differnt post. This post will focus on whom should a person marry.

First let us realize that mankind was created male and female in the image of God. Second, we have to realize that marriage was instituted as a blessing with the intent to procreate in order to fill the earth and subdue it by ruling over its animals.

Genesis 1:26-28

26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

We see in Genesis 2:7-8 that man was formed from the dirt and put in the garden of Eden.

Genesis 2:7-8

7 Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being. 8 The Lord God planted a garden toward the east, in Eden; and there He placed the man whom He had formed.

In Genesis 2:15, we see that God put Adam in the garden to cultivate it.

15 Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.

In Genesis 2:18-24, we see God said that man needed a suitable helper and fashioned her out of his rib. This is where God implemented marriage between a man and a woman. This relationship is to take precedence over that of the relationship with mother and father, as we see the man leaves his father and mother and builds a live with his wife. This new life is ot be so close they are to become as one – this includes sex (“multiply”, “join”, “become one flesh”).

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” 19 Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. 22 The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. 23 The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”

24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Now, as to whom you should marry… It should always be someone who loves God.

Ezra 9:12

12 Therefore, do not give your daughters in marriage to their sons or take their daughters for your sons. Do not seek a treaty of friendship with them at any time, that you may be strong and eat the good things of the land and leave it to your children as an everlasting inheritance.’

Nehemiah 10:30

30 ”We promise not to give our daughters in marriage to the peoples around us or take their daughters for our sons.

1 Corinthians 7:39

39A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.

2 Corinthians 6:14

14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

Not only must the person you marry be from the people who love God, but it must be someone of the opposite gender.

It is clear that Leviticus 18:22 is a prohibition against men having sex with men, which automatically makes it a prohibition against marraige – since sex is one of the reasons to marry.

Leviticus 18:22

22 You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.

We see the same thing in the New Testament. Notice that the apostle Paul (inspired by God) called having sex with someone of the same gender as being sexual impurity, shameful, unnatural, indecent, perversion, deserving of death. This makes it evident that homosexual sex is prohibited, which makes homosexual marriage prohibited in God’s eyes.

Romans 1:24-32

24 Therefore God gave them over in the SINFUL DESIRES of their hearts to SEXUAL IMPURITY for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25 They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator – who is forever praised. Amen. 26 Because of this, God gave them over to SHAMEFUL lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for UNNATURAL ones. 27 In the same way the men also ABANDONED NATURAL RELATIONS WITH WOMEN and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed INDECENT acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

28 Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a DEPRAVED MIND, TO DO WHAT OUGHT NOT TO BE DONE. 29 They have become filled with every kind of WICKEDNESS, EVIL, GREED AND DEPRAVITY. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31 they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 ALTHOUGH THEY KNOW GOD’S RIGHTEOUS DECREE THAT THOSE WHO DO SUCH THINGS DESERVE DEATH, THEY NOT ONLY CONTINUE TO DO THESE VERY THINGS BUT ALSO APPROVE OF THOSE WHO PRACTICE THEM.

More than that, Paul said each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband – not a man with a man nor a woman with a woman.

1 Corinthians 7:1-8

1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. 3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But this I say by way of concession, not of command. 7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.

8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

In fact, we see that Jesus said who should marry – male and female, a man and his wife.

Matthew 19:3-12

Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” 4 And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” 7 They *said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 He *said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

10 The disciples *said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” 11 But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”

Even so, the person you marry can not be cloesly related to you. This is because incest (sex between people who are related, with the exception of a husband and his wife) is a sin (Leviticus 18:6-15; 20; Deuteronomy 27:20-23; 1 Corinthians 5:1-13). Examples found in scripture are: close relative (Leviticus 18:6), sister/brother (Leviticus 18:9, 20:17; Deuteronomy 27:22), grandson/granddaugher (Leviticus 18:10), aunt/uncle (Leviticus 18:12-13; 20:19-20), daughter-in-law (Leviticus 18:15), the wife of your father (Leviticus 20:11; 27:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1-13), mother-in-law (Deuteronomy 27:23), your brother’s wife (Leviticus 18:16, unless your brother died without issue – see Deuteronomy 25:5-9), a woman and her mother (Leviticus 18:14), a woman and her granddaughter (Leviticus 18:17), the sister of your wife, while your wife is living (Leviticus 18:18).

To sum up, you should seek the person God has fashioned for you from among God’s people. It should be someone who is not closely related, and it should be someone of the opposite gender.

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