Someone asked me if her mother would recognize her in heaven, since she was ten when her mother passed away. My immediate response was to ask whether her mother trusted Jesus as her Savior, and she replied, “Yes…”
So I replied, “There is no question that if your mother trusted Christ as her savior, if she trusted that God the Father sent the Son of God to earth to be born, and live a sinless life and suffer and die to pay for our sins and was raised again on the third day, then she is with God the Father in heaven.”
She responded, “If it’s there she is for sure. Will she know me?”
This is my response to her question:
Will your mother know you? People definitely know others in heaven.
In 1 Samuel 28:8-17, Certainly King Saul recognized the prophet Samuel when the witch raised him from the dead.
2 Samuel 12:19-23 tells us that King David expected that when he died, he would go to heaven to be with his recently dead infant child.
Luke 9:28-33 and Matthew 17:3-4 tells us of when Jesus was transfigured with Moses and Elijah and they knew each other, and were recognized by Peter.
In the parable of when the Rich man and the poor man died, Abraham, Lazarus, and the rich man all recognized each other (Luke 16:19-31).
Jesus was recognized, by many people, in His glorified body after His resurrection (John 20:16, 20; 21:12; 1 Corinthians 15:4-7). We too will be recognized in ours.
So yes, we will recognize those we know/love – even if its been years since we saw them.
Also, we will not be in pain in heaven – even emotional pain. We know this because we are told in Revelation 21:3-4 that God will wipe away every tear, there will be no more death, mourning, crying, or pain.
We are told that Jesus will give eternal life (and a place in heaven) to those who desire it. But those who do not believe, who do not have a changed heart, will not be in heaven with God (Revelation 21:5-8).
[In fact, we are told that while eternal life is for those who believe, those who do not believe still have the wrath of God upon them (John 3:16-18). But this belief is more than mere intellectual assent, it must include a changed heart to the point where you obey God (john 3:36; James 2:14-20).]
The Apostle Paul taught that we need to repent, turn to God, and have evidence of repentance (Acts 26:20).
So the question you need to ask yourself is – will YOU be in heaven? Will you repent and turn to God through trust in Christ? Will you call Jesus Lord?
If you have done this, or will do this, then yes, you will see your loved one in heaven and you both will recognize each other.
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